Make a Donation and Receive a Copy of Life Lessons For My Sons or When God Speaks. Shipping is Free!

There is excitement in the air! I am just overjoyed at the blessings of the Lord. During the remaining month of August and September, I will be offering a signed copy of Life Lessons for My Sons and/or When God Speaks when you give a donation! Shipping is free! I want my book to be a blessing to as many people as possible. Share this page with your friends and family and I will be grateful. Remember! For each donation, you will receive a signed copy of one of my books.

This book is a great resource to use to mentor young men through their journey to manhood. I share personal stories about my own journey hoping to inspire some young man that he can make it with God as the center of his life.

This devotional was birth out of my own personal time with the Lord. Each devotional will also be accompanied by questions designed to encourage you to reflect on the message of the devotion as well as the Word of God. If you are interested, simply click on the purchase button. Also, please ensure to provide your mailing address information and allow up to two weeks for delivery. You can readily reach me via email at teachforever2010@gmail.com.

They Have Their Eyes on You!

Have you ever noticed someone watching you? You know it because you can almost feel it in your bones. The moment you look around and determine who it is that is watching, the next question generally is why were they watching you?

In my book entitled, "Life Lessons For My Sons", Life Lesson #3 states, "Glean from the man that the Lord places in your life. That man was ordained to demonstrate godliness for your benefit.-Dad".

Have you ever considered the fact that there are people, brothers and young brothers who are watching you as their example of manhood? They are looking to you to display the qualities of what it means to be a Man of God. Understand, they are not looking for a perfect man because they already know that "The Perfect Man" does not exist beyond Jesus Christ. However, they are looking for a victorious man who has experienced triumph during difficult times and grace in the times of personal defeat.

The young men of this generation are looking for "Real Men" who will share real experiences for their benefit. Allow me to share with you several things that the young man who is watching you should be able to glean from you.

1. He should glean the importance of good hygiene and personal appearance. In other words, your attire and hygiene upkeep speaks volumes about the type of person you are. Demonstrate to the young men in your life the importance of looking your best and being your best at all times. You may have to buy them the necessary items to help them meet good standards of appearance and hygiene.

2.He should glean that a "Real Man" accepts responsibilities for his actions. Allow the young men in your life to see a man who will own up to his faults and failures. Demonstrate the importance of keeping promises and honoring commitments. Show that young man the fruit of being responsible with your successes and accomplishments in life.

3.He should glean the importance of a man being connected with Christ. Show that young man who may have reservations about expressing his faith in Jesus Christ that it is ok and appropriate for a man to acknowledge his relationship with Christ in public, through his lifestyle and interactions with others. Listen! Share with him your own initial reservations, so that he will know that what he is feeling is not something foreign to the male experience.

If you simply start with the three items above, you will make a powerful impact in the lives of so many young men who do not have a godly role model in their lives. Whatever experiences you have, they can serve as stepping stones for some young man. You do not have to famous to make a difference. You just have to care enough to do something about the situation within your own abilities.

A Dream Come True- Release of My Books: "Life Lessons For My Sons" & "When God Speaks" on Monday, March 24, 2014

God bless you all! I am truly excited about all of the great things God is doing in my life. I am especially grateful to the Lord for the upcoming release of two of my books; "Life Lessons For My Sons" and "When God Speaks". This is really a dream come true. The Lord impressed in my spirit several years ago to write both of the aforementioned books.

"When God Speaks" is a great devotional tool for anyone who is interested in growing in their personal discipleship. In fact, with each devotional there is a place for your own personal reflection after reading the devotional. Really take the time to determine what God was trying to convey to you after reading the devotion. In addition, I have also provided some follow-up questions that will help further bring more meaning to the devotion.

This devotional is great for small groups as well. You could literally invite friends over and share with one another concerning what the Lord spoke to you after reading the devotion.

Also, I am so proud of my book, "Life Lessons For My Sons". This book can serve as an aide for any mentor, father, mother, etc... who wants to ensure that the young man in their life learn the many life lessons that every man encounters. I talk about growing up in Montgomery, Alabama  as a young boy all the way through my growth and development as a father and husband.

I am convinced that every young man, adult and even young women will learn a great deal from the lessons of my life.

Take the opportunity to get your copy of each book for your personal library. Continue to check back on this blog for additional articles and information that will enhance your ability to mentor the young men in your life.

If you have facebook, you can connect with me at Life Lessons For My Sons and When God Speaks. Thank you in advance for your support and most of all your prayers.

In Christ,

Kevin Jackson

Spiritual Fathers

1 Corinthians 4:15" Even though you have ten thousands guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, For in Christ Jesus, I became your father through the gospel."

An observation: There are more and more young men and adult men who are yearning for a father figure in their lives. It is time for spiritual fathers to step-up to the plate.

The devastation of not having a father in a young man's life goes beyond his behavioral challenges and all of the other surface symptoms. Fatherlessness is a pandemic and must be addressed by men who are willing to commit to training young men to become men of God. In the reference scripture listed above, Paul addresses the need of spiritual fathers among the saints.

God has the ability to link young men and adult men together in a way that the young man feels like he has finally gotten a male presence in his life to show him how to be a man. I have seen and heard stories, including my own, of young men even in their 20's who are hurting because of the rejection and abandonment caused by their natural fathers. However, as I have experienced as a natural father and a spiritual father to many young men and adult men, God can anoint you to fulfill the void that only a father can fill.

What does the young man need from you as a spiritual father?

 1. He needs a man who is spiritually fit. One who is saved and understands the principles of the Kingdom of God. One who understands the importance of walking in the spirit and not in the flesh. This young man needs a spiritual father who can enter into spiritual warfare on behalf of his spiritual son. One who possesses discernment and the ability to hear God clearly.

 2. He needs a man who can handle commitment. Young men have had enough of disappointments, so it would not be good for a spiritual father to come in the name of Jesus and still leave the young man with empty promises. In other words, a spiritual father must be able to keep his word, walk in integrity and be able to carry the burdens of his spiritual son.

3. He needs a man with a vision. One who can look into his eyes and see potential. A spiritual father must be able to see what God sees and speak a word of deliverance into the life of the young man God assigns to him.

4. He needs a man who will hold him accountable. The relationship cannot be built solely on positive reinforcement, but that spiritual father must be able to call the young man into accountability for those things that he does not do according to the will of God. Young men need a strong man who will not buckle-down when it is time to put the young man's feet to the fire.

5. He needs a man who is already whole. Young men who are dealing with issues do not need a spiritual father who begins to depend on the young man for support and encouragement. A spiritual father must be independent of the young man and his resources and totally dependent on God for every provision. 

May God help us all come into the understanding that the need is still there for spiritual fathers ordained by God. The sons are waiting, will you take the necessary steps to ensure that you are contributing to some young man's spiritual development in the Kingdom of God?

Calling on all Spiritual Fathers! Go Forth!

Reputation

When I think about the word reputation, I immediately refer to what other people think about another individual. Often times people will say emphatically that they could care less about what others feel about them even as a Christian.

The Bible encourages believers to not let our good be damaged by a bad reputation. In essence, we are to display the character of Christ in everything that we do.







My brother, how is your reputation? Can anyone truthfully find a dark stain on your character because of something that you have said or done?

Allow me to shift away from what people directly see as your reputation. Have you ever considered what your financial reputation is concerning your credit score? Wow! That score reveals a great deal about a person's character. Your financial reputation has the potential to limit your buying power and literally cause you to have to pay higher interests rates. Don't worry, it is not the end of the world. You can still come of this on top.






Just like you would try to reconcile with a person who you have offended and in the process damaged your reputation, you will need to reconcile your financial transactions the same way. In doing so you increase your credit score and thereby improve your financial reputation. How?

1. Begin paying every bill on time.

2. Pay down your credit cards to about 10% - 30% of the credit limit.

3. Review your credit report for errors and dispute them with one of the leading credit report companies.

4. Communicate with your creditors if you have a serious financial hardship. They may be willing to work with you.

If you can start to doing these four things, you can improve your financial reputation in no time. Always remember, we represent Christ in every area of our lives.

Men Who Hurt in Silence 06/20 by Elder Kevin Jackson | Blog Talk Radio

Men Who Hurt in Silence 06/20 by Elder Kevin Jackson | Blog Talk Radio

Men Who Hurt in Silence

Often times no one can tell when a man is in pain or has a struggle that he cannot handle because men have learned how to mask pain and struggle since childhood. We were taught that crying was essentially a sign of total weakness. As a result, we develop throughout our lives ignoring the obvious pain that we have from various incidents in our lives for the sake of maintaining the superman persona for the world.

I want to caution all of my brothers to not remain in silence alone. Not to continue to scream a silent scream in your head or simply resolve the total matter by displaying deep seeded anger. When pain is masked, it leads to self-destruction. My brother, please don't allow the enemy and those who hurt you in the past, destroy the plan God ordained for your life. No! More! Silence!

How can you, a man, safely navigate leaving your cave of silence without losing your perception of being strong? First acknowledge that there are issues that have never been resolved and there is hope beyond the current methods you have used to mask the pain.

Second, release the guilt and pain from the experiences to Christ. How? Cast your every thought, care, anger, guilt, rejection, hurt, abandonment upon the Lord because He is so...concerned about you man. Jesus is not concerned about the perception of society and how they define weakness and strength. His perspective is in your weakness His strength is made perfect.

Third, find a strong Christian brother who you can be transparent with. Unmask and tell him the issues that cause you to hurt in silence. Ask him to commit to praying for and with you on a consistent basis. The moment you open your mouth and begin to speak about the pain of the divorce, the death of a loved one, the issues of your childhood, you will experience such a release in your spirit that you have never experienced before.

Fourth, mediate on the word of God. Allow His word to minister to every wound that is oozing with pain. Mediate on Isaiah 26:3, "I will keep him in perfect peace who keeps his mind stayed on me." Also reflect on Psalm 91. The bible is replete with scriptures that will bring continual healing to your spirit.

Listen my brother! You do not have to remain in silence any longer. God is concerned about you and the pain that you have in your spirit. You are not alone, there are millions of men who continue to mask during the day and unmask at home never to find the deliverance and resolve they so desperately seek.

No! More! Silence!

The Power of Fatherhood

I am convinced that God has placed a special calling upon Fathers to impact the lives of their children and those whom the Lord places in their path. We are indeed called to mold, lead, guide and provide an example to one of God's most precious gifts, children.

I am so amazed at the process in which God decided to bring Jesus into the world. Although He did not allow a man to physically create Jesus, He did allow a man, Joseph, to mentor, train and guide one of His most precious possessions.

I can only imagine the sit-down chats Joseph had with Jesus. The conversations they must have had as Joseph showed Jesus how to master the carpenter's trade. It must have been something to experience Jesus developing from an infant to a twelve year old who decided to stay back in the temple and talk about the Torah.

Joseph, I believe, represents a man who understood that his love for Jesus was more powerful than the fact that Jesus was not his natural son. Joseph did not allow the circumstances of Jesus' birth to prevent him from being the earthly father any young boy needs to become a strong man.  Now that is a great example of a man who understood the "Power of Fatherhood".

To appreciate this power and see the need to be a father figure , we only need to look at the horrible consequences that result when fathers are not in the lives of children. Did you know that research shows that children without fathers are more prone to enter the prison system, crime and experience emotional instability? I know that there are exceptions to the research, but there are so many young men and women in prison right now who will say without reservation, "They wished they had a father".

Fathers, Mentors, Uncles, Grandfathers, we all have a god-given responsibility to mentor and guide the young people who God has placed in our lives. Let's commit this Father's Day to touch the lives of young people in at least the following ways:

a. Demonstrate godly principles for them to emulate.

b. Provide godly advice that will help young people make wise decisions.

c. Allow our young people to make mistakes while they are under our tutelage.

d. Pray without ceasing for our young people's salvation and future.

e. Show our young people how to navigate the economic system of the world and the Kingdom of God.

f. Disciple each young person so that they can become what God destined them to be.


If we can commit to these six principles, we too can experience, as Joseph did with Jesus, the "Power of Fatherhood".

A Motivated Man Who Motivates Young Men to be a Man

I was fortunate enough to travel to Philadelphia, PA to attend the Association of Supervision and Curriculum Development Annual Conference. One of the most fascinating sessions that I have ever attended had to have been, “Inspiring Black Males to Soar” by Principal Baruti Kafele.

Principal Kafele provided all attendees with an overview of the state of black males in the public school system and those who teach them. His style of delivery and deluge of relevant information empowered each person in attendance that had a legitimate concern about the plight of black males in the public school system.

Principal Kafele shared his three-fold focus in addressing the needs of black males by addressing the teacher and student’s attitude, the climate in which the student is forced to receive instruction and the culture of the classroom and school. He told us attitude, climate and culture were all controlled by the educators in the lives of young black males.

Principal Kafele also shared his role in his school in New Jersey. He saw himself as the father of every young man. He stated, “When the young man comes to my school, he is going to succeed because I am his teacher.” What a profound statement and declaration of commitment to announce personal responsibility and accountability for the education of the young men placed in his care. I wish every teacher who teach black males would pledge their commitment to declare out loud, “When my black male students come to my class, they shall succeed by any means necessary because I am their teacher!”

Principal Kafele understood how important his role was to the point that he became involved in the young men’s life outside of their school interaction. He learned how to live in the lives of his young students. He learned the importance of winning their hearts in order to help them become what they were destined to be from their inception in their mother’s womb.

Principal Kafele, shared three components of his vision. That vision included telling the story of the students’ African American history. Secondly, he sought to teach and provide means for economic development for his male students. Finally, he taught and modeled true manhood. If indeed the vision and mission statement of every teacher encompassed the above components, then our black boys would have the chance to excel academically and at a greater level they would understand who they are, how to thrive economically and how to pursue true manhood.

One of the tragedies of the public schools in African American communities is the absence of the positive black male role model. School boards across America should include as their mission to encourage African American male college students to teach in America’s black schools. Black boys need to see a positive reflection of who they shall be in the classroom at least five times a week throughout the school year.

Principal Kafele has offered another alternative for public schools in black neighborhoods that have little or no black male teachers. He has created a mentoring program that instills the values and character traits essential for our black boys to understand who they are.

One of the exercises that Principal Kafele teaches his young men is to look into the mirror every day and ask themselves, “Who are you?” The boys are told to answer themselves with statements that prophecy what they shall be. In addition, he tells them to ask themselves, “What are you about?” In other words, what is your purpose? Finally, Principal Kafele tells the young men to ask themselves, “Where is the evidence?” That’s a provocative question! The boys have to state what they are doing at that time to make who they say that are and what they are about a reality. I am going to ask my three boys to do this exercise and ensure that they know who they are, what they are about and what evidence they have to make all that they have declared a reality.

During one point of Principal Kafele’s presentation, his words and passion for seeing young black males succeed literally made my eyes watery. Especially when he began to talk about how he poured himself into his male students and the impact it made on their lives. He stated that he could see himself in their actions, mannerisms and their passion to be just like him. This part of the presentation hit home because I too was blessed to have a positive black male teacher in my life throughout elementary school. The man that God sent to rescue me from my communities’ prophetic destruction was Michael Van Barren.

Mr. Barren singled-handedly taught me my history, he reassured me that I had potential; he modeled how a Christian Black Male should live his life. As a result of his dedication to teaching and imparting into my life, I became everything that he was. I became the teacher. I became the scout leader. I became the church leader because Michael Van Barren was, I became. Therefore, I too share the same passion to impact the lives of young men. I understand the power of one man standing up and reaching back to pull forward young men who he sees as too precious to leave behind.

Although I do not teach in the public schools, I have found that all black males desire a real authentic black male role model. One of my former students who I taught for several years in our Christian Private School wrote an essay for his public high school Educators’ class stating how I, his only male teacher, impacted his life in a positive way. He recalled me constantly enforcing the uniform code and asking him to keep that shirt tail tucked inside. My student recalled me taking the time to be his mirror and tell him on a constant basis who he was. I declared unto him he was different and had a special calling on his life. This student declared that because of the passion he saw in my teaching, he too wanted to pursue a career in teaching and he prayed that he would be just as effective in reaching his students as I had in mentoring him. Because I was, he became the teacher.

Behold the power of one man impacting the lives of black males is the best kept secret in America. This secret needs to be broadcasted, screamed, and videoed on YouTube, posted on Facebook, tweeted on Twitter and all of the other social media means of communicating the message that there are some black men who are making a difference in the lives of black young men. My hat goes off to Principal Kafele. You stirred up a greater desire in me to pursue that which I know has been ordained for my life and that is to make an effective impact on the lives of those who cannot help themselves.

Principal Kafele, the impact of your impartation into the lives of the young men who you shared life lessons with will outlive you and leave a strong legacy of self-worth and self-awareness. If only the world knew about Principal Kafele and Mr. Michael Barren and others who have a passion for changing the lives of young men, maybe more black males would have a chance to see a new worldview of their futures and lives.

I was so moved that I immediately bought a copy of Principal Kafele’s book, “Motivating Black Males to Achieve in School and in Life”. You owe it to yourself and the young black males in your life to receive a powerful impartation from this positive man who has dedicated his life to impacting the lives of young black males. Start by visiting his website: www.principalkafele.com.

Just Like Dad

I had the opportunity to witness my three boys minister in our church this entire weekend. My oldest participated in the drum corps ministry along with my youngest son (5) and my middle son (8). In addition, the middle son participated in a Christian dance ministry. On Sunday, my middle son played the drums in the church and my oldest son sang with the choir and had a part in one of the songs.After the service, my youngest son said, " Daddy you did very well today in service".


While I was painting the office at home, my oldest son came in and said, " Daddy, you know what? When I grow up, I want to be just like you." Now those words would make any father's heart glad.

I am so proud of all of my boys and their desire to work in the house of the Lord. I honestly believe that it is because of the example that my wife and I have set for each of them.

Fathers still make a difference! If you are a father, just think about all of the ways that you are impacting your children's lives. The power of a father should never be underestimated or taken for granted. God has anointed us to speak into the lives of our children for his glory.

Make the difference in your child's life starting today.

Dr. King's National Holiday

What better way to celebrate the labor of a great pioneer than to reflect on all that he contributed to America and African American people. The anti-thesis of that statement would be to simply take this day off and not even consider what Dr. King has done. That would simply be a tragedy and disrespectful to his ultimate sacrifice; his life.

I would like to encourage all people of all races to take some time out of your day to reflect on what America would be like today had Dr. King not pursued justice. It was through his leadership and strategy that many of the rights we have today are available.

I took some time to talk to my middle son about the struggles of African Americans during the Civil Rights Movement. We talked about blacks having to drink from different water fountains. He asked, " Was the water out of the black water fountain different from the water out of the white water fountain? I told him no. The difference was the racial climate and during that time segregation was a way of life.

We discussed the Little Rock Nine, seating in restaurants, riding the public bus and other things that demonstrated to my son that things were very different than they are today. My son really grasped all of that information with wide eyes of amazement.

This morning, my wife and I talked about Dr. King with our 5 year old, Elisha. He told us that Dr. King was a black man who liked to preach. He said that Dr. King wanted to teach whites how to be good people when they played with black people. Elisha told us that some white people did not like Dr. King and wanted to kill him. He seemed to try to make a connection between then and now.

It is so important that our children have a good understanding where we have come from so that they do not repeat the things of our past. Please spend this day reflecting on how far we have come because of Dr. King and how far we must go.

Unfortunate Events in the Life of a Child

Life is filled with situations and circumstances that many children have no control over. It is disheartening to see children suffer from abuse and neglect. The reality of the matter is, as your read this post, there are children who are being exposed to irresponsible people, being abused, and being mistreated by the adults who are supposed to protect them. The question becomes, how can we prevent unfortunate situations in the lives of our children?

I can remember being told as a teenager that my step-grandfather attempted to murder me as an infant. He took a knife, while he was drunk, and cut me down the seam of my nose. I bled terribly and nearly died if it had not been for the quick responses of my mother and my aunt, I would not be here today. I still have the scar on my face to remind me of my step-grandfathers disregard for my life as a baby. What measures could have been taken to avoid such an unfortunate incident?

1. Be on guard. Children should never be allowed to frequent or stay in a household where the inhabitants are alcoholics, drug users, or violent. When children are placed in those types of situations, it is a recipe for disaster.


2. Provide supervision. Predators and curious teenagers thrive in environments where parents do not supervise their children. Never allow your children to play outside without the proper supervision. Remember, everyone does not have your child's best interest in mind.


3. Be an Example. Demonstrate to your children the proper way to live a respectful and wholesome life. Whatever behaviors that you allow as a parent will become the same behaviors of your children as an adult. If they see you drunk and drugged out, then they accept that as the standard. If they see different people coming in and out of your house that is not their father or mother, then they will perpetuate what they have seen in the home.


4. Teach survival skills. Tell and demonstrate to your children what to do when they find themselves in trouble. Ensure that they know your name and not just a nick-name or title. Instruct your children to never to give their personal information to a stranger. Teach them to run and scream when someone approaches them in a strange manner.


5. Monitor your child's entertainment. With the boom of the Internet and social media, your child could find himself in some difficult situations that could be life or death. Check their facebook, twitter, myspace, flicker, and other social media pages. Question them about people who they have accepted as friends. Place the proper child protective software on your computers to prevent exposure to explicit material. Review your child's phone and text messages. Teenagers have a totally different language in the text world and they could be communicating behavior that could lead to disease, pregnancy, and other activities that would be unfortunate for their future.

As I look back over my life and reflect on the whole situation with my step-grandfather attempting to murder me, it can be discouraging, but on the bright side, I was truly blessed by the Lord to have survived the incident in spite of his irresponsible and reckless behavior. How many children do not survive these kinds of incidents? Far too many!

As parents, we are the protectors of our children. We have to think beyond being reactive to situations, but also become proactive to prevent situations that have the potential to leave a terrible emotional and physical mark on our children. Create a home, family and social environment that is child-friendly and void of life-threatening and child-endangering situations. Your children will live and thank you for it.

The Value of Time

I took my oldest son with me to the grocery store. I took the time to observe how tall he has gotten and the deep tone in his voice. I said to myself, "Wow! Time is going by so fast." It seems like Ephraim was just born a year ago and now he is about to embark upon his last year of middle school.

As I drove to the grocery store, I reflected on the moment that I was granted to spend with my son. It really dawned on me to take hold of every moment we have together. Soon, Ephraim will be out on his own in college pursuing aeronautical engineering. Man, I know he has to grow-up, but why so fast?

Oh well, I will make a commitment today to ensure that I cherish every conversation, every teachable moment, every handshake and every question that my son asks me. This time is so precious and valuable.

Fathers, please do not allow the time to past you by without reflecting and taking precious memories into your heart for those times when it seems like everything is going wrong. Reflect on those memories and come to the conclusion that every situation and circumstance was worth the opportunity to sow into the life of your child. Value the Time you have with them.

Planning Ahead

As I get older, nearing 40, I had a revelation. I'm getting older and soon my boys will be leaving my house within the next 10 years. Oh boy, I thought. I better get to planning things and putting things in place because I want to demonstrate to my boys how to plan for the future.

So..... I made sure my life insurance policy was in place. I made sure that my retirement fund was well funded. I sought guidance from the Lord about other financial moves. I started to see my life in a new way. I will not always be here for them. I will die one day and I want their lives to be comfortable.

The lesson is, I almost started too late. I should have put these things in place when I first started working as a naval officer at the age of 23. Boys start early preparing each phase of your life. If you fail to plan, yes you have planned to fail.

An Open Letter to African American Boys

I often wonder if you are aware of the potential that lies within you. Do you not know that you have the ability to achieve anything with the help of God?

I often wonder if you intentionally ignore the wisdom and advice of your elders to express your individuality and independence. However, you do not consider the reason why we tell you what we tell you so that your individuality is not shaped by hardship, calamity and disappointment.

Can’t you see the signs of the times? Do you not see how the past is quickly creeping back into the present and ultimately the future? Ok! You don’t know your history or you think our history is just that, in the past.

Listen young men, “Whatever you do not learn from the past of your people, you will have to learn it personally in your present or future.”

Son, why do you emulate the negative aspects of the culture? If indeed you are seeking to be an individual, then why do you copy the dress codes and mannerisms of celebrities whom you do not know? Be who God made you to be. Be smart. Be dedicated. Be respectful. Be a visionary. Be a young man of God.

My young brothers, when will the sexual escapades cease? Don’t take the advice of your uncle Bubba, who has never had a successful marriage or relationship. Instead emulate positive black men who are taking care of their families and who respect their wives.

My young brothers, your manhood is not measured by the number of young ladies that you sleep with. Don’t you know you are spreading yourself all over the community and indirectly sleeping with every person that the young lady has slept with? Follow the teachings that your grandma, auntie, or mama taught you. They taught you to love God more than your sexual drive.

Young brothers, can we reason about education? You do know that the powers thereof build prisons based on the low reading levels of black boys in grades four and five?

Learn young brothers learn. Learn and excel. You can do anything through Christ that strengthens you. You are not weak because you are smart. You are weak when you are smart and pretend to be dumb. Be the individual God has created you to be.

Finally, my young black brothers, I know you do not want anyone telling you what to do, but it is foolish to ignore wisdom. Do this for me young brother. Read this letter again, digest it, follow it and then pass it on to a friend. Give this letter to brothers you know and care about.

Sincerely,

A Concerned African American Man

Racism is a Heart Issue

The stench of racism is still poignant. In fact, it may be nearing the levels of intensity experienced during the 60’s. I know about racism as a native of Tuskegee & Montgomery, Alabama. The cradle of southern racism. One would think that we have made progress, but the ugly head of racism continues to diminish any ground gained.

I can remember last month, as my wife and I were taking our boys on a trip from the east coast to the west coast. Our plane stopped in Houston, TX. As we were sitting in the airport, a little white boy began to say out loud,”Look, there is a brown family. That brown family is dirty. They are monsters.” I told my wife and boys to gather their things so that we could move to another section of the airport and I overheard the boy’s father tell his wife to stop trying to correct the little boy because it was not a big deal. Well, I knew it was time to address the whole situation. So I said to the boy’s father,” I would suggest that you teach your child not to say such horrible things about people. I would never allow my children to disrespect anyone because of their race.” He replied,”He’s only a child!” In response, I told him, “Apparently he is old enough to understand how to describe people as dirty and monsters, he should be old enough to learn that what he said was wrong.”

This father then tried to apologetically appease me by telling me he was not a racist; after all he has a mixed family, etc, etc, etc… At that point, I walked off and explained to my boys that the little boy was disrespectful and his father was wrong for not correcting him. I told my boys, regardless of what people call you, you have to be confident in who you are and address the issue with the wisdom of God.

That day was one of the best training tools I have had to show my boys that this world has some people that are mean and nasty, but God has endowed them with the fortitude to overcome every attack against them because of their race, religious beliefs and anything else.

I said all of this to say, racism is a learned, nurtured and intentional way of thinking. Regardless of who it is, if their heart is filled with hate and disdain for a person or a people simply because of their race, they will never change until their hearts change. What is unfortunate as demonstrated through my experience in the Houston Airport is there is a new generation of children who are being taught this same destructive way of thinking.

Their teachers are politicians who disrespect President Obama by saying, “you lie”. Their teachers are news commentators that refer to the President as boy. Their teachers are congressmen who call the president “tar baby”. Their teachers are political movements who display our president’s face in the depiction of a monkey. Their teachers are their families, friends, pastors, etc… who see their propensity towards racism but overlook it or say nothing.

This is a true statement and I believe it with all of my heart, until the hearts of those who hate people because of their race change, racism will be here for a long time.

Make An IMPACT

Making a lasting IMPACT on men can create a sustaining movement of men prepared and equipped for effective ministry. There is an epidemic that continues to plague churches all over the country; men are falling into sexual sin and almost inactive in ministry. In addition, statics say, that over 50% of pastors are addicted to pornography. Why? We have pacified men with sporting events, dinners and feel good seminars. As a result, men have perfected talking to one another on the surface all the while walking as a dead man in the spirit. This is counterproductive to the male psyche, which looks for challenge and an opportunity to conquer. Therefore the best topics to minister to men are those that challenge them to do as God said in 1 Peter 1:16, “Be ye holy as I am holy.”

Men have to be challenged and impacted by specific characteristics. Those characteristics can be found in the very letters of the word IMPACT.

Integrity: Teach men the importance of walking in righteousness even when no one is looking. It is during the times of temptation he has to hold himself accountable and chose integrity rather than compromise. Integrity is feed by a strong desire to consistently please God regardless of the situation.

Maturity: Paul stated in 1 Corinthians 13:11, “When I was a child, I thought as a child, I spoke as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” Men have to be challenged to move forward in their development of Christ and spiritual disciplines, responsibility to family, associates and ministry. A man’s development in these areas are key indicators of maturity.

Purity: The need to walk in total purity must be taught throughout the development of a man from boyhood to adulthood. Men who walk in purity have to have a mission to intervene in the lives of men of all ages and challenge them to guard their hearts and minds from the spirit of perversion. Purity requires us to know how men function when it comes to sexuality and how to guard our eyes and heart with all diligence. Men are stimulated sexually by touch and sight. Therefore, men have to be taught how to monitor what they watch on television, the internet and how to relate with females without entering into compromising situations.

Accountability: Men who feel that they are held accountable by their brother tend to maintain integrity better than a brother who is a loner. We are our brothers’ keeper and overseer as we journey through this very tempting world. To hold a brother accountable means, I will tell you the truth about you even when you are wrong. This may be hard and difficult, but it will preserve the soul of our brothers.

Character: Who are you as a man? Are you punctual, thorough, honest, can people count of you? These and so many more attributes defines a man’s character. Character is a man’s profile sheet. It is the letter that the Apostle Paul says is read by all men. We have to be sure that the letter our lives present is commensurate with our proclamation to be men of God.

Trustworthiness: Do you tell the truth or do you flatter people with your words that have no works to support them? Men are big on trust. If a brother does not trust his friend, he will only relate to him on the surface. Again, just sports talk and the weather. However, if a brother knows that his friend is trustworthy, he will open up to him about some of his most frightening experiences. For those brothers who have brothers who trust you, never break their trust. This could break the spirit of the man and leave him wounded as prey for the enemy. Let’s walk in truth even when it hurts.

This is a season of healing and ministering to men who have been wounded and injured by the enemy. Some may have been self-inflicted wounds and others a direct attack by the enemy. Regardless of the source of the wound, men can still make an IMPACT in their own lives and the lives of the next generation of men.

Do it on purpose!

As I quickly approach the big 40, I am really thinking about all of the things that I must teach my boys to ensure that they are prepared to be men of God. I had to look back in retrospect to see if I had laid a strong foundation for them to build upon. Here are a few things that I believe fathers must do on purpose.

a.Demonstrate how to love God’s way.

b.Teach them how to forgive as the Lord forgives.

c.Show them how to be good stewards over their time, talents and treasury.

d.Always encourage and correct with the word of God in a loving yet firm manner.

e.Allow them to make mistakes now, so that they can learn from me how to master those areas later.

f.Demonstrate what a man of God is and how he acts in every facet of life.

g.Extend respect in order to expect automatic respect from my children.

h.Teach them to look to the Lord during great times and distressful times.

i.Impart the word of God in their hearts intentionally.

j.Show them the blessing of doing everything as unto the Lord in ministry and life.

There is so much more, but the above things are certainly a good start. I know that we are all busy trying to do the will of God for our lives, but one of those responsibilities includes training our children to do the will of God for their lives also. Do it on purpose.

Appreciate Your Father Regardless

This Fathers’ Day will be a difficult one as it has always been for many people who do not have fond memories of their father. There are stories of abuse, neglect and abandonment, but there are also great stories of fathers and other men coming into the lives of children to making a difference.

I was blessed to have my natural father and a mentor in my life during my childhood. The amazing thing was all that my father was incapable of providing me, God placed it into the heart of Michael Van Barren. He was and continues to be my hero because he rescued me from a life of destruction before I ever had an opportunity to become entangled into the cruel world’s godless system. However, I never lost sight of the fact, that if my natural father had not brought me into this world, I would not have the opportunity to share my life and love with my own three sons. God knew that I would be able model for them what it means to be a man that loves his family and walks under the authority and protection of Jesus Christ. I celebrate my opportunity to be a father and I know that it would not have been possible had my natural father not given me life.

I know that many of you have pain and difficulty even considering what I am asking you to do, but you must forgive in order to move on completely. Unforgiveness does not hurt your father, it hurts you. Even if you cannot celebrate the things that your father has done for you throughout your life, please celebrate the fact that he helped bring you into the world. That one gift of life has now afforded you the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others, your family, and the lives of your own children. Scripture says in Romans 8:28, “For we know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Although the absence of a natural father may be painful, it cannot compare with the joy and fulfillment of nurturing your own child or mentee to ensure that they experience a life filled with love and care from a man who loves them regardless.

Celebrate fatherhood with the understanding that the one perfect gift that your father gave you was life; a chance to make a difference and impact the world.

Happy Fathers’ Day to every father, uncle, grandfather and mentor. Your presence and experience will have a lasting impression upon every child’s life that you impact. In turn, your investments in children create a wonderful legacy that will live far beyond your days.

Five Lessons Every Young Black Male Should Know

I have often thought about the essential knowledge that every young black male should possess and master. I believe young black males have the God-given potential to accomplish any goal or objective presented to them. I am so disappointed in the current trend of our young men emulating people who have no future or self-esteem. When did it become acceptable for our young men to sag and show their underwear as a type self expression? That choice to disrespect themselves and everyone who looks upon them is saddening. Nevertheless, the solution to this fad and others is to ensure that black men intentionally impart specific traits into the hearts of every young black male. Allow me to share six practical lessons that our young men should learn:

1. Extend respect to all authority- We must teach our young men the value of displaying respect and humility to persons who have authority over their lives. This starts in the home. Our young black males must understand that their first order of respect must be to God, their parents and anyone who has the right to exercise authority over them. The lack of respect reaps terrible dividends that could ultimately lead to failure and destruction. Let’s stand as black men and demand if we must that our boys exemplify the highest level of respect and dignity to whomever they must take directives from or serve.

2. Learn the word of God- Black fathers who claim the name of Jesus Christ, must ensure that their seed hears, knows and understands the word of God. In addition, our children should see the practical application of honoring the word of God in our lives first. It is through the word of God that our young men will find strength in the time of weakness and encouragement in the time of despair and direction in the time of perplexity.

3. Learn to be responsible- Too many of our young men are derelict in their duties because they have never been trained to be responsible for their actions, words and decisions. Again, this begins at home. It starts with teaching our young men to keep their rooms clean and organized. How many times have you walked into your son’s room and found clothes under the bed, on the floor and a strong order that could spoil your appetite? It’s true! We look over it and never hold them accountable for their actions. The result is a grown man who does not clean his house and has a home that would be unacceptable for anyone to visit. We must start with the everyday practical things in the lives of our sons to ensure that they understand that strong black men are responsible for their actions, words and decisions.

4. Learn a work ethic- Young men need a job! They must learn the value of work early so that they do not develop a lazy mentality. Young boys should learn the value of work by taking out the trash, washing dishes, cutting the grass and contributing to the maintenance and care of the household. They must also learn to get things done in a timely manner. Often times they take the posture of putting chores off hoping that mom or dad will go ahead and take care of the tasking themselves. One of the worse things that we could ever do as fathers is to raise a lazy black man in our house who does not want to work or do anything.

5. Learn how to value money. Fathers, are your guilty of buying your sons shoes that cost over $100 dollars and your sons constantly demonstrates that they do not appreciate or care about the sacrifice made to provide them with the things that they have? If you do not teach them how to take care of the things that you buy them, they will always look to other people to give them something. Teach your sons how to save some of his money. Teach your sons not to spend all of their money on frivolous things. Teach your sons about stocks, bonds, IRAs and investing their money.

6. Learn how to respect females- Brothers, do not allow your son to be a player. Teach him how to treat young ladies with respect and dignity. Dads, you have to demonstrate this in the home so that your son sees that this is normal and acceptable. Teach him never to call a female out of her name. Teach him to never put his hands on a female to disrespect her, abuse her or misuse her. Teach him to open doors for ladies. Teach your son to bless the women in his life instead of degrading them.

There are so many more lessons that our young black males need to learn, but if they could start with just these five, then they will be well on their way to being that outstanding example of a strong, intellectual, confident and refined young man of God. My brothers, what we do not teach our sons about life, God and manhood can very well hurt them. Commit to teaching these first five lessons and look for great results in the future.