How to Keep Saying "I Do"

The statement, “I Do”, is two short and simple words that mean life-time commitment. I wonder how many men and women really understand what it takes to keep saying, “I Do”. The wedding day seems so whimsical and fairytale like, but the reality of sharing your life with someone else settles in after the honeymoon period is over. The bottom line is it takes work to keep saying, “I Do” year after year. Here are a few things that you do as a man, to ensure that you and your wife continue saying, “I Do”.

a.Keep spontaneity in your relationship. The element of surprise always brings excitement and renewal to the marriage relationship. My brother, if you continue to do the same old thing, you will continue to see a downward spiral in your marriage relationship. Women appreciate spontaneity. Rehearsing the same routine is a quick way to kill intimacy in a marriage. Surprise your wife with something that she least expects. Watch that smile form and wait for the rewarding after effects of that one gesture.

b.Foster and nurture intimacy. Intimacy goes beyond sexual activities between a husband and a wife. Sex is the by-product of previous comments, flowers, cards, holding hands and doing all of the things that were done to win over your wife’s heart while you were dating. Christian men have to learn the value of intimacy that is produced before the end result, sex. Yes, God has blessed the marriage union with such a wonderful experience of sexual intimacy. But sex alone is not the totality of intimacy. My brother, you have to do whatever is necessary to till, plant, water and nurture your love relationship with your wife. Just like a plant cannot grow without the proper care and nourishment, your marriage relationship cannot grow without the proper care, love and nourishment. Get started now!

c.Provide strength and security for your wife. Demonstrate strength to your wife by defending her and not allowing anyone or anything to attack her mentally, physically, or spiritually. Your presence alone should provide your wife with the security that she needs to feel safe. This will not happen if your priorities are out of order and other things are placed before your wife.

There is nothing like a praying husband, who understands that his prayers avail much on behalf of his wife. There are times in the marriage relationship when the best option to take is to pray and intercede. It is not always a good thing for the husband to try to have all of the answers and provide advice. Sometimes we need to be quiet, listen and pray.

d.Spend quality time together. Time is the greatest commodity that you can give your wife. Make it a point to schedule a date with your wife at least once a month. Take her to her favorite restaurant, a movie, take a walk in the park, or go to a neighboring city for an overnight stay. Whatever you do, do not neglect to spend quality time with your wife. God wants you to invest your greatest asset in your marriage and that is your time. So when is your first date scheduled?

e.Communicate! Communicate! Communicate! Talking to your wife on a routine basis may seem foreign to you because most men would rather keep to themselves and not do a great deal of talking. This will not work my brother. Your wife wants to know in detail how your day has been. She wants to tell you things that are on her heart and she expects you listen and acknowledge in some manner that you care. Please do not ignore her attempts to talk. Don’t give the street man an opportunity to fill that void of needing someone to talk to about her problems. The enemy still comes to kill, steal and destroy marriages. Do not help him by refusing to make an effort to communicate with your wife in sincerity. Schedule a regular time with your wife to just sit down and talk over a cup of tea or a cappuccino.

f.Grow in Christ together. The central figure in your marriage relationship must be the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the shining example of how husbands are supposed to treat their wives. In Ephesians 5: 25-27, the Apostle Paul compares husbands to Christ and the Body of Christ to wives. Paul admonishes husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Christ sacrificed, loved, gave, ministered and died for his bride, the church.

Are you willing to die to self in order to facilitate spiritual growth in your marriage? When is the last time that you and your wife have discussed the scripture or prayed together? If this is something that is absent from your marriage relationship, make a commitment today to begin to read and pray with your wife. Why not start with Songs of Solomon. This is a beautiful love story that foreshadows Christ’s love for His church. If you and your wife are growing spiritually then your combined power in the Lord can defeat any tactic the enemy tries to throw your way.