I had the opportunity to witness my three boys minister in our church this entire weekend. My oldest participated in the drum corps ministry along with my youngest son (5) and my middle son (8). In addition, the middle son participated in a Christian dance ministry. On Sunday, my middle son played the drums in the church and my oldest son sang with the choir and had a part in one of the songs.After the service, my youngest son said, " Daddy you did very well today in service".
While I was painting the office at home, my oldest son came in and said, " Daddy, you know what? When I grow up, I want to be just like you." Now those words would make any father's heart glad.
I am so proud of all of my boys and their desire to work in the house of the Lord. I honestly believe that it is because of the example that my wife and I have set for each of them.
Fathers still make a difference! If you are a father, just think about all of the ways that you are impacting your children's lives. The power of a father should never be underestimated or taken for granted. God has anointed us to speak into the lives of our children for his glory.
Make the difference in your child's life starting today.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Dr. King's National Holiday
What better way to celebrate the labor of a great pioneer than to reflect on all that he contributed to America and African American people. The anti-thesis of that statement would be to simply take this day off and not even consider what Dr. King has done. That would simply be a tragedy and disrespectful to his ultimate sacrifice; his life.
I would like to encourage all people of all races to take some time out of your day to reflect on what America would be like today had Dr. King not pursued justice. It was through his leadership and strategy that many of the rights we have today are available.
I took some time to talk to my middle son about the struggles of African Americans during the Civil Rights Movement. We talked about blacks having to drink from different water fountains. He asked, " Was the water out of the black water fountain different from the water out of the white water fountain? I told him no. The difference was the racial climate and during that time segregation was a way of life.
We discussed the Little Rock Nine, seating in restaurants, riding the public bus and other things that demonstrated to my son that things were very different than they are today. My son really grasped all of that information with wide eyes of amazement.
This morning, my wife and I talked about Dr. King with our 5 year old, Elisha. He told us that Dr. King was a black man who liked to preach. He said that Dr. King wanted to teach whites how to be good people when they played with black people. Elisha told us that some white people did not like Dr. King and wanted to kill him. He seemed to try to make a connection between then and now.
It is so important that our children have a good understanding where we have come from so that they do not repeat the things of our past. Please spend this day reflecting on how far we have come because of Dr. King and how far we must go.
I would like to encourage all people of all races to take some time out of your day to reflect on what America would be like today had Dr. King not pursued justice. It was through his leadership and strategy that many of the rights we have today are available.
I took some time to talk to my middle son about the struggles of African Americans during the Civil Rights Movement. We talked about blacks having to drink from different water fountains. He asked, " Was the water out of the black water fountain different from the water out of the white water fountain? I told him no. The difference was the racial climate and during that time segregation was a way of life.
We discussed the Little Rock Nine, seating in restaurants, riding the public bus and other things that demonstrated to my son that things were very different than they are today. My son really grasped all of that information with wide eyes of amazement.
This morning, my wife and I talked about Dr. King with our 5 year old, Elisha. He told us that Dr. King was a black man who liked to preach. He said that Dr. King wanted to teach whites how to be good people when they played with black people. Elisha told us that some white people did not like Dr. King and wanted to kill him. He seemed to try to make a connection between then and now.
It is so important that our children have a good understanding where we have come from so that they do not repeat the things of our past. Please spend this day reflecting on how far we have come because of Dr. King and how far we must go.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Unfortunate Events in the Life of a Child
Life is filled with situations and circumstances that many children have no control over. It is disheartening to see children suffer from abuse and neglect. The reality of the matter is, as your read this post, there are children who are being exposed to irresponsible people, being abused, and being mistreated by the adults who are supposed to protect them. The question becomes, how can we prevent unfortunate situations in the lives of our children?
I can remember being told as a teenager that my step-grandfather attempted to murder me as an infant. He took a knife, while he was drunk, and cut me down the seam of my nose. I bled terribly and nearly died if it had not been for the quick responses of my mother and my aunt, I would not be here today. I still have the scar on my face to remind me of my step-grandfathers disregard for my life as a baby. What measures could have been taken to avoid such an unfortunate incident?
1. Be on guard. Children should never be allowed to frequent or stay in a household where the inhabitants are alcoholics, drug users, or violent. When children are placed in those types of situations, it is a recipe for disaster.
2. Provide supervision. Predators and curious teenagers thrive in environments where parents do not supervise their children. Never allow your children to play outside without the proper supervision. Remember, everyone does not have your child's best interest in mind.
3. Be an Example. Demonstrate to your children the proper way to live a respectful and wholesome life. Whatever behaviors that you allow as a parent will become the same behaviors of your children as an adult. If they see you drunk and drugged out, then they accept that as the standard. If they see different people coming in and out of your house that is not their father or mother, then they will perpetuate what they have seen in the home.
4. Teach survival skills. Tell and demonstrate to your children what to do when they find themselves in trouble. Ensure that they know your name and not just a nick-name or title. Instruct your children to never to give their personal information to a stranger. Teach them to run and scream when someone approaches them in a strange manner.
5. Monitor your child's entertainment. With the boom of the Internet and social media, your child could find himself in some difficult situations that could be life or death. Check their facebook, twitter, myspace, flicker, and other social media pages. Question them about people who they have accepted as friends. Place the proper child protective software on your computers to prevent exposure to explicit material. Review your child's phone and text messages. Teenagers have a totally different language in the text world and they could be communicating behavior that could lead to disease, pregnancy, and other activities that would be unfortunate for their future.
As I look back over my life and reflect on the whole situation with my step-grandfather attempting to murder me, it can be discouraging, but on the bright side, I was truly blessed by the Lord to have survived the incident in spite of his irresponsible and reckless behavior. How many children do not survive these kinds of incidents? Far too many!
As parents, we are the protectors of our children. We have to think beyond being reactive to situations, but also become proactive to prevent situations that have the potential to leave a terrible emotional and physical mark on our children. Create a home, family and social environment that is child-friendly and void of life-threatening and child-endangering situations. Your children will live and thank you for it.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
The Value of Time
I took my oldest son with me to the grocery store. I took the time to observe how tall he has gotten and the deep tone in his voice. I said to myself, "Wow! Time is going by so fast." It seems like Ephraim was just born a year ago and now he is about to embark upon his last year of middle school.
As I drove to the grocery store, I reflected on the moment that I was granted to spend with my son. It really dawned on me to take hold of every moment we have together. Soon, Ephraim will be out on his own in college pursuing aeronautical engineering. Man, I know he has to grow-up, but why so fast?
Oh well, I will make a commitment today to ensure that I cherish every conversation, every teachable moment, every handshake and every question that my son asks me. This time is so precious and valuable.
Fathers, please do not allow the time to past you by without reflecting and taking precious memories into your heart for those times when it seems like everything is going wrong. Reflect on those memories and come to the conclusion that every situation and circumstance was worth the opportunity to sow into the life of your child. Value the Time you have with them.
As I drove to the grocery store, I reflected on the moment that I was granted to spend with my son. It really dawned on me to take hold of every moment we have together. Soon, Ephraim will be out on his own in college pursuing aeronautical engineering. Man, I know he has to grow-up, but why so fast?
Oh well, I will make a commitment today to ensure that I cherish every conversation, every teachable moment, every handshake and every question that my son asks me. This time is so precious and valuable.
Fathers, please do not allow the time to past you by without reflecting and taking precious memories into your heart for those times when it seems like everything is going wrong. Reflect on those memories and come to the conclusion that every situation and circumstance was worth the opportunity to sow into the life of your child. Value the Time you have with them.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Planning Ahead
As I get older, nearing 40, I had a revelation. I'm getting older and soon my boys will be leaving my house within the next 10 years. Oh boy, I thought. I better get to planning things and putting things in place because I want to demonstrate to my boys how to plan for the future.
So..... I made sure my life insurance policy was in place. I made sure that my retirement fund was well funded. I sought guidance from the Lord about other financial moves. I started to see my life in a new way. I will not always be here for them. I will die one day and I want their lives to be comfortable.
The lesson is, I almost started too late. I should have put these things in place when I first started working as a naval officer at the age of 23. Boys start early preparing each phase of your life. If you fail to plan, yes you have planned to fail.
So..... I made sure my life insurance policy was in place. I made sure that my retirement fund was well funded. I sought guidance from the Lord about other financial moves. I started to see my life in a new way. I will not always be here for them. I will die one day and I want their lives to be comfortable.
The lesson is, I almost started too late. I should have put these things in place when I first started working as a naval officer at the age of 23. Boys start early preparing each phase of your life. If you fail to plan, yes you have planned to fail.
Monday, August 8, 2011
An Open Letter to African American Boys
I often wonder if you are aware of the potential that lies within you. Do you not know that you have the ability to achieve anything with the help of God?
I often wonder if you intentionally ignore the wisdom and advice of your elders to express your individuality and independence. However, you do not consider the reason why we tell you what we tell you so that your individuality is not shaped by hardship, calamity and disappointment.
Can’t you see the signs of the times? Do you not see how the past is quickly creeping back into the present and ultimately the future? Ok! You don’t know your history or you think our history is just that, in the past.
Listen young men, “Whatever you do not learn from the past of your people, you will have to learn it personally in your present or future.”
Son, why do you emulate the negative aspects of the culture? If indeed you are seeking to be an individual, then why do you copy the dress codes and mannerisms of celebrities whom you do not know? Be who God made you to be. Be smart. Be dedicated. Be respectful. Be a visionary. Be a young man of God.
My young brothers, when will the sexual escapades cease? Don’t take the advice of your uncle Bubba, who has never had a successful marriage or relationship. Instead emulate positive black men who are taking care of their families and who respect their wives.
My young brothers, your manhood is not measured by the number of young ladies that you sleep with. Don’t you know you are spreading yourself all over the community and indirectly sleeping with every person that the young lady has slept with? Follow the teachings that your grandma, auntie, or mama taught you. They taught you to love God more than your sexual drive.
Young brothers, can we reason about education? You do know that the powers thereof build prisons based on the low reading levels of black boys in grades four and five?
Learn young brothers learn. Learn and excel. You can do anything through Christ that strengthens you. You are not weak because you are smart. You are weak when you are smart and pretend to be dumb. Be the individual God has created you to be.
Finally, my young black brothers, I know you do not want anyone telling you what to do, but it is foolish to ignore wisdom. Do this for me young brother. Read this letter again, digest it, follow it and then pass it on to a friend. Give this letter to brothers you know and care about.
Sincerely,
A Concerned African American Man
I often wonder if you intentionally ignore the wisdom and advice of your elders to express your individuality and independence. However, you do not consider the reason why we tell you what we tell you so that your individuality is not shaped by hardship, calamity and disappointment.
Can’t you see the signs of the times? Do you not see how the past is quickly creeping back into the present and ultimately the future? Ok! You don’t know your history or you think our history is just that, in the past.
Listen young men, “Whatever you do not learn from the past of your people, you will have to learn it personally in your present or future.”
Son, why do you emulate the negative aspects of the culture? If indeed you are seeking to be an individual, then why do you copy the dress codes and mannerisms of celebrities whom you do not know? Be who God made you to be. Be smart. Be dedicated. Be respectful. Be a visionary. Be a young man of God.
My young brothers, when will the sexual escapades cease? Don’t take the advice of your uncle Bubba, who has never had a successful marriage or relationship. Instead emulate positive black men who are taking care of their families and who respect their wives.
My young brothers, your manhood is not measured by the number of young ladies that you sleep with. Don’t you know you are spreading yourself all over the community and indirectly sleeping with every person that the young lady has slept with? Follow the teachings that your grandma, auntie, or mama taught you. They taught you to love God more than your sexual drive.
Young brothers, can we reason about education? You do know that the powers thereof build prisons based on the low reading levels of black boys in grades four and five?
Learn young brothers learn. Learn and excel. You can do anything through Christ that strengthens you. You are not weak because you are smart. You are weak when you are smart and pretend to be dumb. Be the individual God has created you to be.
Finally, my young black brothers, I know you do not want anyone telling you what to do, but it is foolish to ignore wisdom. Do this for me young brother. Read this letter again, digest it, follow it and then pass it on to a friend. Give this letter to brothers you know and care about.
Sincerely,
A Concerned African American Man
Racism is a Heart Issue
The stench of racism is still poignant. In fact, it may be nearing the levels of intensity experienced during the 60’s. I know about racism as a native of Tuskegee & Montgomery, Alabama. The cradle of southern racism. One would think that we have made progress, but the ugly head of racism continues to diminish any ground gained.
I can remember last month, as my wife and I were taking our boys on a trip from the east coast to the west coast. Our plane stopped in Houston, TX. As we were sitting in the airport, a little white boy began to say out loud,”Look, there is a brown family. That brown family is dirty. They are monsters.” I told my wife and boys to gather their things so that we could move to another section of the airport and I overheard the boy’s father tell his wife to stop trying to correct the little boy because it was not a big deal. Well, I knew it was time to address the whole situation. So I said to the boy’s father,” I would suggest that you teach your child not to say such horrible things about people. I would never allow my children to disrespect anyone because of their race.” He replied,”He’s only a child!” In response, I told him, “Apparently he is old enough to understand how to describe people as dirty and monsters, he should be old enough to learn that what he said was wrong.”
This father then tried to apologetically appease me by telling me he was not a racist; after all he has a mixed family, etc, etc, etc… At that point, I walked off and explained to my boys that the little boy was disrespectful and his father was wrong for not correcting him. I told my boys, regardless of what people call you, you have to be confident in who you are and address the issue with the wisdom of God.
That day was one of the best training tools I have had to show my boys that this world has some people that are mean and nasty, but God has endowed them with the fortitude to overcome every attack against them because of their race, religious beliefs and anything else.
I said all of this to say, racism is a learned, nurtured and intentional way of thinking. Regardless of who it is, if their heart is filled with hate and disdain for a person or a people simply because of their race, they will never change until their hearts change. What is unfortunate as demonstrated through my experience in the Houston Airport is there is a new generation of children who are being taught this same destructive way of thinking.
Their teachers are politicians who disrespect President Obama by saying, “you lie”. Their teachers are news commentators that refer to the President as boy. Their teachers are congressmen who call the president “tar baby”. Their teachers are political movements who display our president’s face in the depiction of a monkey. Their teachers are their families, friends, pastors, etc… who see their propensity towards racism but overlook it or say nothing.
This is a true statement and I believe it with all of my heart, until the hearts of those who hate people because of their race change, racism will be here for a long time.
I can remember last month, as my wife and I were taking our boys on a trip from the east coast to the west coast. Our plane stopped in Houston, TX. As we were sitting in the airport, a little white boy began to say out loud,”Look, there is a brown family. That brown family is dirty. They are monsters.” I told my wife and boys to gather their things so that we could move to another section of the airport and I overheard the boy’s father tell his wife to stop trying to correct the little boy because it was not a big deal. Well, I knew it was time to address the whole situation. So I said to the boy’s father,” I would suggest that you teach your child not to say such horrible things about people. I would never allow my children to disrespect anyone because of their race.” He replied,”He’s only a child!” In response, I told him, “Apparently he is old enough to understand how to describe people as dirty and monsters, he should be old enough to learn that what he said was wrong.”
This father then tried to apologetically appease me by telling me he was not a racist; after all he has a mixed family, etc, etc, etc… At that point, I walked off and explained to my boys that the little boy was disrespectful and his father was wrong for not correcting him. I told my boys, regardless of what people call you, you have to be confident in who you are and address the issue with the wisdom of God.
That day was one of the best training tools I have had to show my boys that this world has some people that are mean and nasty, but God has endowed them with the fortitude to overcome every attack against them because of their race, religious beliefs and anything else.
I said all of this to say, racism is a learned, nurtured and intentional way of thinking. Regardless of who it is, if their heart is filled with hate and disdain for a person or a people simply because of their race, they will never change until their hearts change. What is unfortunate as demonstrated through my experience in the Houston Airport is there is a new generation of children who are being taught this same destructive way of thinking.
Their teachers are politicians who disrespect President Obama by saying, “you lie”. Their teachers are news commentators that refer to the President as boy. Their teachers are congressmen who call the president “tar baby”. Their teachers are political movements who display our president’s face in the depiction of a monkey. Their teachers are their families, friends, pastors, etc… who see their propensity towards racism but overlook it or say nothing.
This is a true statement and I believe it with all of my heart, until the hearts of those who hate people because of their race change, racism will be here for a long time.
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